Shame, Guilt, and the Healing Power of Coyote Medicine
Mistakes are inevitable, but how we respond to them shapes our emotional growth. Over time, I’ve noticed two emotions that often surface after missteps: guilt and shame. While they seem similar, they carry distinct energies—and understanding the difference is key to working with them gently.
Guilt, at its best, is a mature emotion. It arises when we recognize that our actions have caused harm or fallen short of our intentions. Initially, guilt may trigger withdrawal or hiding, but it often leads to remorse and a sincere desire to make amends.
Shame, on the other hand, is more defensive and reactive. It can spiral us into internal loops of harsh self-talk or provoke outward defensiveness. Shame tends to touch our deepest wounds, stirring up feelings of being fundamentally “bad” or “wrong.” In these moments, the “teenager” within us might lash out with righteous indignation, retreat into silence, or maneuver for control in an effort to escape vulnerability.
But what if we approached these emotions with curiosity rather than judgment? What if we let go of the need to be “right” and simply explored what’s happening? This is where the medicine of Coyote comes in.
Coyote energy—playful, mischievous, and wise—teaches us to embrace the parts of ourselves that stumble and fall. Coyote invites us to look at our arrogance and hubris, not with shame but with humility and humor. It helps us transform reactivity into curiosity and encourages us to move away from the rigidity of “better than” or “worse than” thinking.
Practical ways to embrace Coyote medicine include:
Pause Before Reacting: When shame arises, take a moment to breathe and ground yourself. This creates space to respond rather than react.
Cultivate Curiosity: Instead of strategizing your way out of discomfort, ask, “What is this emotion teaching me? Where is it coming from?”
Practice Humility: Acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes. Approach yourself—and others—with the same compassion you’d offer a close friend.
Laugh at Yourself: Arrogance can be subtle, but it often thrives in seriousness. Coyote reminds us to play with life’s missteps and learn from them lightly.
Through the lens of Coyote medicine, mistakes aren’t failures; they’re opportunities for growth. By leaning into curiosity, humility, and playfulness, we can meet guilt and shame with the gentle wisdom they deserve. This shift not only helps us heal but also brings us closer to love and unity.
